Last Night I Dreamt of Glocca Morra Again

If you need anything, just say the word, I mean annihilation.

I hate to think that I depend on someone else for my happiness, but it seems I only take it when my best friend is around.

She's like the near true, real person I know.  I know that she loves me and I know that she would do anything for me, and I've never been able to say that nearly anyone else and know it was true.

I've realized a lot in these past few hours, I don't know how, because I've tried to refrain from thinking, just I've noticed a lot.  Similar how anybody ignores me for no reason and I don't even necessarily care.  I take Megan.  Sure, I care nearly those other people, but if they DON'T intendance about me enough to atleast TALK to me, whatever.  I'm over that.

I don't know why I blogged this.  I judge I just thought I'd similar Megan to know that I love her if she comes across this.

July 3, 2008 at 8:41 am

Should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always exercise.

I take a really bad habit to reminisce like no other.

I think that being effectually Danny every bit long as I was last night is what started it. I don't know what information technology is about him that's and then irresistible, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only fool though. Well, anyway, I was re-reading a blog I had posted a while ago about Danny and how he had fucked me over, information technology was like…also obvious that information technology was nigh him, just ya know, anyhow! I seen a comment on information technology from Zach Laster, which was the first thing he had ever said to me and he was pretty much just talking about how 'my current involvement person was stupid', y'all know, making me believe that he'd never be THAT guy.
…I should accept just RAN so.

I connected to read my blogs, then came beyond the one I wrote to Zach, but this one was obvious and very straight forwards. It was all lies though, I'g non fully over him, it's been 5 months and there still isn't a unmarried day that I don't recall nearly him or how and why he'southward completely fine existing and living without closure.
But yeah, after reading that web log I then moved onto my saved messages from him, sounds lame just I had reasoning for saving them. Long story.
He was then damn skillful at his sweet talking, very believable, because I've never been a sucker for a sweet talker until he came along.
I would be fine if he only sent me a large "FUCK YOU." or something, just then I know that he hasn't forgotten about me.

I don't know, all that had brought me to tears and I had considered inviting my best friend/ex-lover Matt over, merely mom reassured me that it would be a bad idea, seeing as to the fact that Matt just loves to jerk my heartstrings around.

What is it with guys having girlfriends and grossly leading me on? Jesus.

I then got to thinking and I've changed, I realize. Because, earlier I would not have any cocky control and I probably would have ended up loving on someone last dark, but ALL I could think well-nigh was how I would be CRUSHED if Areon washed something like that. Areon beingness the person that I currently like a great deal.
(Note: Only one of the boys mentioned is an actual exboyfriend, I'm not a floozy. Promise, rofl.)
But aye, I've been realizing what that boy means to me more and more everyday.
I don't know what it is. I'grand trying to keep my baby-sit up and precautious though.

I don't know, I guess I'thousand just ready to let go, it'southward just a very tough learning process.
I don't desire to only permit become of Zach either.
I want to let get of all the romantic feelings for Danny and Matt, also, considering they're two of my best friends and that just makes it really hard, which I'1000 sure anyone can relate to.
Lastly, I want Areon to really know what he means to me and dwelling house on those of the past isn't going to do a very good job of that.

I have no clue why I blogged this, I guess I simply wanted to see my thoughts infront of me or something.

May 12, 2008 at v:48 am

Oh, what a night!

I like the way the universe works.

Earlier tonight I got to assist someone, someone very unlikely. I'grand actually glad about it.
There's nil I dearest more than lending a helping mitt.

My brain is on like OVERLOAD.
Prom is so close that information technology's scary.
It's going to be so scary non knowing anyone! Plus it'southward going to be scary wearing a apparel in public, oi vey.

I take my nights where I research a lot, and yet again, the topic was Michael Alig.
No matter what I read about him or something he's done, I realize that I can't not love him.
I mean, I think what he did happened because that era needed to terminate, before everyone ended up dead. It'south deplorable that Angel Melendez was the unfortunate one, but I think everyone learned a lesson from it.
I wonder what kind of person that makes me out to be, siding with a murderer.
How can you not dear him though?!

Come across! Even incarcerated, he'due south fabled!
Maybe it's just me, I dunno.
I don't think the earth would be the same without him though.
That'due south my stance, and I'm sticking to it!

I don't know, tonight'southward been proficient. I've accomplished a lot.

Alas, bedtime.

Farewell!

Listening to;
My Friend – Annie Palmer

May vii, 2008 at viii:42 am

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